Aug 10, 2004 Well today I spent the most of it with my crazy lil neices whom I adore so very much....Then I spent time with my mother...That was nice too... Haven't been able to do that in a long time and missed it...Well then I get a phone call from my lil Angel and OMG that just made me miss him that much more. Just hearing his voice, it felt like I wasn't alone anymore. You know the way that he has always made me feel.... I hate being so far away from him....I feel as if a part of me is missing...Donno if he feels the same as I feel for him. Maybe one day I will be able to find that one out for my self...who know's ... but i can say this much...i love him.... November 22 2004 Well I haven't written in a while so I thought that I should do so..keeping up with this isn't the main thing on my mind these days. But owell life will go on. Well lets see i've been trying to help mom out with getting things done for Thanksgiving dinner. So much to do in so little time.. Hey that sounds like an every day thing don't it...lol. Anyways, I talked to my ANGEL again tonight. I haven't been able to do that in a while which it's my fault...but now that i am home I hope that i'll be able to talk to him more often. Things for me in the past few months have been really shitty. Fell for the old boyfriend again and then got shit on. Should of known that one was coming... Anyways, right now things aren't as bad as they feel. Dec 2, 2004 Well things are going pretty good these day's....Been working on getting family Christmas gifts done...Spending time with the family....I've also been writting some more poetry...GO ME....lol..anyways things are going pretty good. Missing my friends back in Virgina a lot as of lat. I can't wait to see them again...My girl Ang is still tring to get me to go down for the weekend but things are tight for me right now with the holiday's around the coner...anyways, catch ya all later....Loves ya December 9 2004 Life is so confussing. Each day everything changes. One day your happy with the way that your life is and then the next thing you know its gone to hell and back. Then there are times that you sit and think about special people in your life and wonder why things are the way that they are. And then your realize that there that way because you have made them that way. For so long i've been in love with this guy who's done a lot of things that i should hate him for, then i think about all the things i should love him for. And they dont' matter in the end. Cuz he's gone..... But then i think about the one special person that gods givin me within the past few years and i've come to see how much he means to me... I see all the things that i've tried to block out for so long. Only if i could go back into time and change so much of my past. Only if i could tell that special someone that he's my reason. Reason for living.